he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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