im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
