We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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