Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
