if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
