i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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