You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
