I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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