Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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