gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
