there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We left the knife in your bed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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