just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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