sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
