So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
