the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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