so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
