Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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