so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
