i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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