how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
