Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
