so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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