I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
