Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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