Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
