I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
