I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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