woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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