His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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