Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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