I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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