4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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