My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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