I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
