were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
