I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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