Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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