Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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