I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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