i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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