I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
