More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
