i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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