I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
