I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
