you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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