im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
