i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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