I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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