how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
