I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
