therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
